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if you just hold on for one more second
just hold on to what you have
if you'll just hold on, just hold on
you will wake up tomorrow |
2003-10-14 @ 1:20 p.m.
no more reason to stay or people to see.
so i'm on the phone with taylor at 4am, and outside smoking a cigarette on my balcony. i'm talking very quietly, considering that i'm outside and the windows here suck. the lady who lives below me comes out, goes "hey!" and i'm like "um, yeah?" and she goes "it's four in the morning." and i say "i know. that's why i'm being quiet." and she says "go inside." and i just stand there and don't say anything. if i HAD said something, it would have been along the lines of "excuse me? you're not my mother. don't tell me what to do. fuck off." so it's probably a good thing that i didn't say anything.my mom's paying my speeding ticket. well, the $95 fine anyway. i called my dad to see if he could take care of getting it notarized and stuff, just because i'm too lazy. he could have said no, i wouldn't have cared, i would have done it, it's just...if i have a way of doing it so that i don't have to actually do it, then that's the way i'm going. dad got all pissed off, as he always does when i do any little thing wrong. whatever. he was like "well, i see it had an impact", just because i'm not being all whiny and bitchy and sad about the fact that i got a speeding ticket. i went through that phase already, thanks. besides, everyone gets them. it's not a huge deal or anything. what an asshole. basically, he's mad because i'm not tripping out on guilt (thank you, caitlin, for putting that so perfectly into words for me). at any rate, my mom still gave me money this week. my mom is HELLA RAD. i was watching hanson...the mtv scrapbook and live at the 10 spot that i found this morning, that i, for some reason, didn't find last night. i put it in the vcr and i was watching it when my mom got here...granted, it was on mute, because i was also watching the hanson.net videos on the computer ("lulla belle" makes me cry, "being me" makes me cry...but "lost without each other" makes me dance, cause it rocks like hardcore). my mom just sat down on the floor when she got back from getting a money order (since i don't have a couch or anything), and she just started watching hanson with me. she asked me all these crazy questions about them too. like, "how did they become a band?" and i was like "um, they're brothers", and she goes "who in their right mind would want more than one child? one is hard enough", and i ignored the obvious teasing that was there and said "yeah, their mom has seven kids". the look on my mom's face was pretty astounding. and then she asked me what label they were signed to, and i told her that they had their own label and i'm intending to send in my demo, as diana hanson did suggest it to me in the first place. my mom's rad. and then she was like "what do they look like now?" and i put in my tape with their jay leno and sharon osbourne appearances, and she was like "wow, that oldest one is cute". it was faboo. so my mom wants me to marry isaac hanson and have pretty babies. although, as taylor ever-so-kindly pointed out last night, if i had babies with isaac they would probably look weird. thanks tay.
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these arms remain stretched out to you
maybe someday you'll accept them
or maybe it's too late to save
a young girl's heart that's long stopped beating |