2002-12-06 @ 7:49 a.m.
gee the bell just rang.
i had the sinus headache from hell yesterday. stayed home from school, called in to work. what a great time. i stayed home and watched "lord of the rings", wishing i had the "new and improved" DVDs. but alas, i don't. maybe i'll get them for christmas.i picked up lucinda last night around 7.30. she called me and told me that she was pretty miserable, so i went to pick her up and we hung out at my house for awhile. at 9.30, there was a knock on my door. for a minute i thought it was patrick, but then i realized that he's not the kind of guy to just show up unexpected. no, it was alex. we went outside to smoke some cigarettes (because my dad won't let me smoke in the house anymore, since he quit), and when we finished off my pack, i gathered up 8 bucks (mostly in quarters), alex drove us to the gas station, and lucinda bought me two more packs. he bummed some more, we sat in my living room and talked.
lucinda brought up a good point - patrick and i were better off as friends. i feel really bad, thinking that right after i got back with him, but seriously. the more i think about it, the more sense it makes for me to be single. i mean...not that i'm a big slut or anything and sleep around, because i don't, but i really do prefer being single. things are a lot simpler when you're single. i talked to him a little bit about it last night on the phone, but i'm still with him. i feel awful breaking up with him, which is precisely why i'm not going to. maybe i will sometime, but not quite yet. it's not entirely fair to either him or me to not give him a chance.
cigarette - yellowcard
watching the days burning out like a cigarette
just a few drags to go
built me up and broke me down somehow
everything just seemed so clear to me
nothing left to know
i'll love you right and I'll love you pure, right nowhow can you say that it's too late
to save us now
and i would wait for you, if you would wait for me
and i will wait for you, if you would wait for me
intoxicated the edge is serrated
so easily torn from the core
i blushed the first time, but you blushed the last time, my eyes in your mind
regenerated these feelings of hatred
i long for your love evermore
you built me up and you broke me down this time
and i would wait for you, if you would wait for me
and i will wait for you, if you would wait for me
how can you say that it's too late
to save us now
how can you say
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